Whatever happened to common sense?

Now I'm not a political animal - but the society created by the last two governments is not one I enjoy being part of. The blame is not solely theirs, of course. The popular media (and I include grown-up newspapers in that) have had a major influence in this, too.

I have gotten used to the way of life, I'm sorry to say. I expect to be ripped off by small traders. I expect the government to feather its own nest, rather than to serve the people. I am not surprised when yet another law is passed which restricts my freedom and patronises my intelligence.

The disturbing development, however, is that private companies are now beginning to follow suit. Last week say J D Wetherspoon announcing a limit on the number of drinks served to adults with children. It's bad enough having the government telling me what is good and what is not good for me. The company are not, we are told, concerned with adults being intoxicated in charge of children: their two-drink limit may also extend to soft drinks. No, the quoted reson is that children will be bored as there is no play area.

In reality, the company wants to put as many cards through the till as possible. Shifting bums is their way of achieving this. I never have - and now probably never will - go to a J D Wetherspoon. Two drinks? Keep 'em!

Happy New Year

It's that time again. I return to work, slightly bewildered and wondering what's new. As usual, the talk is of new resolutions and how this year will be different to the last.

I, too, am thinking what 2008 will have in store for me and my family. I'm struck by how much events around me affect my outlook. I guess we're all touched by the ripples of others' lives. Maybe that should be the theme of this years' blogging - an holistic view of life in which we're all connected. Or maybe not.

Enough of the cod philosphy. Back in the real world, I'm adjusting to having an independent daughter and fighting off mid-life crisis. There are practical considerations, too.

This year I'll be putting more effort into web development and will post my progress here. I may have some things to say about being the parent of teenagers, too. Assuming I ever get the hang of it.

For what it's worth, the last New Year resolution I made was many years ago. I vowed to stop making New Year resolutions. I've stuck to it.

Bloody Christmas

Don't you hate Christmas? All that hype .. the endless pretentious adverts for perfume .. and as for shop decorations - don't get me started!

I'm sure it gets worse every year. This time round there were sparkly decorations appearing before Guy Fawkes night! Now the streets are festooned with tinselled trees - largely artifical, but increasingly real - and twinkly lights.

Then again, I tend to leave present buying until at least December - on principle - which never leaves enough time. I can't bear to think about Christmas with a sixth of the year still to go, and I can't afford to leave it all until the last minute.

Chestnuts roasting on a open fire
Jack Frost nipping on your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos

Come Christmas morning - fuelled with our now-traditional Bucks Fizz - I will feel different. The children will have eagerly opened their stocking presents and spread them and the associated wrapping paper all over the house.

Every year we do the same thing. Er - that is, Father Christmas does the same thing. We wrap all the stocking presents. Almost without fail, we sit down on Christmas Eve and wrap what feels like hundreds of little presents. The result gives the appearance of an explosion in a Christmas decorations factory. Which I somethimes think isn't a bad idea.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

Ah, but the thought of suggling up by the fire after eating a hearty dinner - brandy in one hand and mince pie in the other - warms the cockles of my heart. By then, the trauma of fighting though the shopping centres and scouring the internet for that elusive Wii add-on will be all but forgotten. The cold hard reality of the vast overspend will not yet have hit and I will be at peace.

Except that I won't. I will be busily juggling being a parent and a child, fitting batteries and serving drinks, giving and receiving. The children, having been wound up to fever pitch by school and television over the previous months will be bouncing off the walls and fighting over something or other. There will be disagreements over whether we should be watching the Queen's speech or listening to the Christmas Carols CD. In short, it will be Bedlam.

They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

Boxing day, however, we always try to make sure we can relax. Food will be cold and/or simple. Snacks will be plentiful. Fun will be had. By order.

This is when there is always the visiting and the family. I could moan - but in truth I kind of like my family, really. Deep down. That's not so say it it all runs smoothly or that there is stress involved.

So: my advice for Christmas? Go with the flow. Make merry. Wine women and wassail and all that. Enjoy.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you

Merry Christmas indeed. And I'm sure the next five weeks will fly past.

Kitchen Fitting .vs. Architectural Design

Fitting a new kitchen is like architectural design. They are very different jobs, but like many things in life there are similarities between them.

During the day I am a software architect. I am finding that the deeper I dig into a problem, the more work there appears to be. I start by looking at the process now, then work out how to change it to something different. What I usually discover is that the change cannot be made without changing other processes, too.

In the evenings and weekends, I am refitting our kitchen. I am finding that the deeping I dig into the task, the more work there appears to be. I started by looking at the kitchen layout now, and worked out how to change it to something different. What I discovered is that the change cannot be made without changing the water pipes, the gas pipes, the electricity routing, ...

Back to School II

After three years of home educating, we are now, officially, no longer. Our eldest started back at school a year ago - soon after we moved. Our younger daughter started back at school a few weeks ago. Today, our elder son started back at school and our youngest son has started a "pre-school" playgroup; he will begin school in September.

These are all their own decisions (with the exception of our youngest). It was never our intention to educate them at home forever. Their being back in school will not, we hope, dampen their enthusiasm for learning .. too much. Some dissillusion is inevitable. Above all, we pray that the children will continue to seek knowledge in their own time. They will be tired when we see them now, of course, and they will have little enthusiasm for "work". I am optimistic that some residual enjoyment for learning will not disappear. The major difference is that they know that there is an alternative - that they are not trapped within the system.

They had different reasons for deregistering from school, but they have pretty much the same reason for starting back again: to make friends. We satisfied many of their needs whilst they were learning at home. Some subjects were hard to resource, but on the whole we did well, we feel. They regularly met up with other children - in social groups far more true to real life than those available in school - but this was not really enough for them to feel that they had made friends. In particular, those meetings were in other towns, so they had no "play time" outside schooling hours. School will provide more social contact opportunity than they will need, and an environment where subject experts and resources are on-hand to help them learn.

Looking back, I'm immensely proud of our decision to home-educate, and our achievements - as a family - in making it a success.

Back to School

My youngest daughter is going to school today. She's 8, so this shouldn't come as a surprise. She's not been to school for three years, however.

We've enjoyed home educating our kids. It's been hard at times, but on the whole it's been a fulfilling experience. We've connected with our kids in a way most parents don't have the chance to.

Our eldest has decided a year ago that she wanted to go back to school. She's made the transition and whilst we have our concerns about her performance, she's doing well. Now the others will start back at school over the next few months. I feel heavy-hearted about this, but feel proud privileged that we took the chance to teach our own kids for a while.

Home educating is a heavy responsibility and is not an easy job. It is worthwhile, however. There are sacrifices, and an adjustment to lifestyle is necessary - but the rewards are beyond calculation.

Static Shock

The kids have invented a new game this weekend. They haven't named it, so I'm calling it "Static Shock".

To play, you need a large trampoline with a man-made fibre mat and a warm day. The aim of the game is to give your opponent a static electric shock. The tramp mat gives the source of charge - but beware! while you're charging up, your opponent will be after you!

Enjoy:

Leave them kids alone ...

Oh, for goodness sake! Now they're banning play. My only grain of hope is that this is an isolated incident, reported to highlight the ridicule of the situation.

The worry is: how on earth did this school allow a head teacher who doesn't understand why children play? The whole point about play - and I know that assigning purpose to play kind of defeats the argument - is that it allows those playing to explore situations and understanding without consequence. A kind of "dry run" for life.

Of course, there have to be rules - and violence must be reprimanded - but let the kids play in their own way, purleease.

Golly, Moses, naturally we're punks ...

I think West Side Story got it slightly wrong. I'm developing a theory that it's not that mothers may be junkies or that fathers may be drunks which ails society so. Those are problems, sure, but I'm beginning to wonder whether the root of certain problems lie in school.

Yes, it's easy to blame schools - but by the same token it's easy to blame parents, too. Let me explain.

Since we've home-educated our kids, I've noticed a few things. Their behaviour is different - towards us and towards each other. When they were in school, they had begun to follow the pack mentality that pervades such places. Their self-esteem was driven by how high or low their ranking was within the herd. Their attitude and approach to life followed suit. My eldest son had pronounced communication difficulties and whilst he had good friends, got picked on by kids and staff alike. Just before we deregistered him from school, he had started to say things like "I'm a bad person" and "they don't want me in school". Within a fortnight of leaving school he had started to gain some confidence in himself; he walked taller and spoke more clearly.

I now realise that a major cause of disaffected youth is school. Not school per se, but the abnormally high concentrations of almost uncontrolled children. This arrangement is so divorced from what I'd call "normal family life" that it has a detrimental affect on those involved. I've known since I was at school that the stress makes teachers ill. Now I see that it also affects the children. Without the family structure, kids become anti-social. It's the Lord of the Flies thing: releasing the "beast within". I'm particularly interested to see that small schools we've seen recently (say 100 pupils over four or five years) do not exhibit the same problems.

That's it, really. I'm unsure what the solution is, but the problem is the abnormally large groups of unparented children at school. Maybe we should all home-educate ...

I want to ride my bicycle ...

... and so do the kids.

A recent development chez nous is the kids getting into cycling. I took the dog for a walk on Saturday - accompanied by kids on bikes. We stopped at the playground while I popped into the "little shop" [new, improved, Politically-Correct term .. it's not on a corner]. On Sunday we all got out - again with the dog - and a good time was had by all. Which is nice.

On a tenuously related note, we are officially disappointed with eMusic. I wanted to try it - partly because of the introductory 25 free MP3s offer, but mainly because they (uniquely, perhaps) offer sell MP3s, with full ID3 tags. Most (all that I can find) alternatives sell WMA or some other DRM-infested format. Some, it is true, sell MP3s where artist/label allows it. The result - for eMusic - is that none of the music my eldest daughter wanted was listed. They don't even have Queen (which is where the tenuous link comes in). We're now trialling Tesco.com and MSN music ... Infernal money-grabbing <expletive deleted>.

I still like CDs: they make better Christmas presents. Meanwhile, our digital jukebox steadily takes over my hard disc ...

We are family ...

I got all my - um - children with me^†

.. an eventful weekend. My wife and eldest daughter went off on a jolly to London for the weekend, while I looked after the kids and dog. I say looked after: all I have managed before in this situation is to childmind. This weekend I feel we actually did something - which is nice.

To start with the failures, we did not get to go to a firework display. I knew they'd be disappointed, but I really didn't see any publicity telling me where there might be one we could go to. Youngest child also ended up looking rather beaten about, with a black eye and other minor injuries.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Friday I worked at home. This is often a stressful setup and I did end the day feeling that I'd not achieved enough to avoid feeling guilty - though I didn't get too ratty with everyone. I was pleased to find today that what I'd written did actually work; more-so than I thought it would.

Saturday I was able to start my weekend. I had a plan. I had a list of things to achieve: shopping; library; go out; dog-walk; clean & tidy; cook dinner; chill. To my pleasant surprise we managed to achieve these - and almost had fun doing it. Discovered that the local library has a WiFi access point - though the bloke I asked clearly wasn't aware of it (or indeed what it is). Luckily a woman stood beside him did and was able to confirm that it is open access. I decided not to push my luck and ask whether they used any encryption. Eldest son mused on the possibility of sitting in the library playing on his Nintendo DS over the WiFi.

The major mishap of the weekend resulted in leaving my 3-year-old battered and bruised. During the dog-walk after lunch we went via a steep (a good 40 degree slope) hill. Halfway up the dog was way ahead - so I called him back. He came hurtling down towards us; I looked up to see his face - a picture of wild eyed panic - too close and unable to avoid us. I tried to sidestep, but it was too late: the dog collided with young-un, tearing him from my grip and sending him tumbling and sliding a good 20 feet down the hill. Luckily he escaped with no more than shock, bruises and scratches. A heart-stopping moment nonetheless.

Having just about recovered, we visited my brother and family for a cuppa in the afternoon. I do love being close enough to share time like that. Helped mow his lawn and make a mental note to strim mine tomorrow.

Saturday evening was punctuated by fireworks going off all round the town. Our house is on a hilltop, so after dinner we stepped out into the dark and wondered along the nearby farm track and looked down on the town .. fireworks going off all around us. This didn't quite compensate for being at an actual organised display as far as the kids were concerned, but was rather fun. When we got back home, we found the house across the road letting off a staggering number of rockets so we sat in the conservatory and enjoyed the show from the warmth and comfort of home. And that was another good day.

Sunday was more tasks and chilling. Cooked a Sunday roast for midday - which turned out surprisingly edible. Tidied up round the house. Walked the dog: no injuries this time. Collected a bagful of leaves for younger daughter to produce a collage. Strimmed the lawn. Managed to pursuade the kids to tidy their rooms a little. Got them set up on Google docs to create their Christmas lists. Collected wife and daughter from the station. Had tea. Crashed in a happy heap.

All in all an enjoyable and eventful weekend. I feel dangerously close to having a relationship with my children. Scary.

^†Sorry - I'll try not to do it again ...

When the night has come ...

... and the land is dark

Plunged into darkness once more. (Nothing to do with replacing Justin Hawkins - fun though that may be.) This year - as far as I can tell - I have managed to set all the assorted clocks and other timepieces to GMT. It's true that I found some were already (still) in GMT .. but that's a different story.

This is a major victory. No, really. Every year around January I find some clock still in BST. Likewise in July or so there's inevitably a clock still in GMT. This time, however, I am sure - really sure - that I've got them all. Honest.

My children ask "why do the clocks have to change?" - and I find it difficult to answer. This is a problem as we home educate, so I feel I should have an answer. I could give them the official explanation, some history of the origins and even some insight into the political skulduggery that ensures the daylight savings nonsense persists. The real problem is that I really don't see that there is good reason for it. Come winter I start and end my working day in the dark; tweaking the clock an hour earlier doesn't make it light when I have to get up nor light when I travel home. In the summer it's not a problem: there's plenty of sunlight to go round. It gets light hours before I get up and stays light until bedtime - so why change the clocks then? Sure, most countries have this clock change twice a year but that doesn't justify it for me.

So now I wait for sundown and ride home in the dark. Could be worse - could be raining. That'll be tomorrow's excitement.

Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone ...

Well, someone's talking sense: I'm just glad no-one's tried to fingerprint my kids.